{"id":6078,"date":"2019-10-30T12:50:42","date_gmt":"2019-10-30T12:50:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/phillippines?p=6078"},"modified":"2019-10-30T12:50:42","modified_gmt":"2019-10-30T12:50:42","slug":"high-hopes-story-entry-young-authors-scheme-competition-batangas-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/high-hopes-story-entry-young-authors-scheme-competition-batangas-2019\/","title":{"rendered":"High Hopes | Story Entry Young Authors Scheme Competition Batangas 2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"\"<\/p>\n

Being Content was the joyful feeling of being satisfied.<\/p>\n

I remember the distant sea greeting me with a warm smile. My thoughts ran across my mind as I observed the endless blue. Curiosity got ahead of me, and I found myself running towards the seashore. Worried about what mother would say if I wet my pajamas, I dipped my feet into the lukewarm water. Its marine blue softly touched the bottom of my cold feet. Walking on the beach is relaxing, they say, but not until you get caught by a child laughing at you.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister, why are you wearing pajamas?\u201d<\/p>\n

I look down to see a tiny child tugging on my apple green pajamas. Giggling, her miniature hands let go as I laugh awkwardly in embarrassment. \u201cNot sure,\u201d I try to reason, looking for an explanation on why a teenager would run around at the beach in his pajamas. Then I notice her clothes, a lacy white dress beaming with glow. \u201cWhy are you wearing a white dress?\u201d<\/p>\n

She tries to look for words to explain what\u2019s on her mind. \u201cI- um…\u201d Being a child must be hard, I thought, staring at her fidgeting fingers.<\/p>\n

\u201cM-mommy said I was a princess!\u201d She huffed, darting her eyes away from me. \u201cSo I\u2019m looking for a prince!\u201d<\/p>\n

I remember trying to hold my laughter. Her innocence was fragile, so full of purity. I felt my lips curving into a smile, and somehow feeling nostalgic just by taking a glance at her round face.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got to have high hopes for the perfect man, kid.\u201d I say, looking at the endless sea. \u201cNot all men can be a great prince.\u201d At that moment I realized, I was talking about the reflection in the water, I was talking about me.<\/p>\n

Of course, her tiny mind could not comprehend what I was trying to say. Being an adult meant knowing more, being more aware. The older you get, the higher expectations are, and you would be bombarded with overwhelming stress. Being young had its benefits, and having innocence would protect you from the shadows. For once, I found myself crying at the sight of the child.<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t know what to do, but at that time, she tried her best to cheer up a teenager like me. \u201cMister, I\u2019m pretty sure you\u2019ll be a great prince!\u201d She exclaimed, grinning goofily.
\nI laugh at her bold assumption, and like that, I was content with myself.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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…
\nIt was roughly 4 years ago when that incident happened.<\/p>\n

No longer did I see the innocent smile of that kid. I went back to seeing the sight of my crying mother trying to beg her drunken husband for forgiveness. My father would never let his pride sink down, and so I saw the tragic love dissolve into ashes. Once my mother divorced, our small family was left with bankruptcy. My older sister and mother would fall into the trap of adultery, just for the sake of gaining money. The sight was pathetic, and I was ashamed to even come from that family. Seeing the horror on what it\u2019s like growing up, I grew up thinking that I would never be an adult, so my foolish mind went back to carelessly ignoring my problems and running away.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m 18 now, and I can\u2019t rewind back to the time when I was young.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t rewind to the time when my mother would wholeheartedly forgive me, and the time where I would eat mama\u2019s best pastas. I couldn\u2019t whine about my life and fool around with my friends. Most importantly, I couldn\u2019t go back home.<\/p>\n

Miserable, I lay on my fortress of blankets, my heart filled with the void of nothing. Glued to the phone on my hands, I check my messages like it\u2019s a routine.<\/p>\n

Sis: please do call me. it\u2019s urgent.<\/p>\n

And so I did. I heard her shaky breath across the phone and the voice cracks that came out every once and a while. On this day, after 2 years of abandoning my family, I got to talk to my sister, but I had shed heavy tears.<\/p>\n

On my 18th birthday, my mother died.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

A blanket of darkness covered my cold, shivering body. My voice tries to escape, but there is no sound coming out. I could not see, and I could not speak. Alone, I try to call for help, but I was muted by the sound of nothing.<\/p>\n

Unknowingly, a river flows down from my eyes, and I\u2019m bawling.
\n\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, mister?\u201d A voice called out, sweet and small, just like the pure breed of innocence.<\/p>\n

Silence was my friend.<\/p>\n

The voice finally came out from the shadows, and revealed the girl from 3 years ago. Mixed emotions were all I felt. \u201cYou know,\u201d I notice her form taking the shape of a 15 year old girl. The same age I was when I met her. \u201cI was tired of living like a child.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Silence was my best friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t want to grow up, yet I didn\u2019t want to stay like a helpless child.\u201d She says, now with 2 fists. \u201cI was so determined to grow up, but I didn\u2019t have anyone to look up to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdults are so disappointing. When I saw you, I thought that you were an adult…\u201d She trailed off into the distance. \u201c…An adult wearing pajamas, finally happy with himself and not killing his mood with negative thoughts…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I was five, I was stupid.\u201d She shot me a glare. \u201cOf course you were a coward teenager who runs away from the thought of being an adult.\u201d<\/p>\n

My pride was insulted. I was enraged. \u201cYou don\u2019t know how it\u2019s like…\u201d I say, forcing myself to move from this invisible chain.<\/p>\n

\u201cI DO, JACOB, I DO!\u201d the raise of tone alerted me. It was even more shocking that she knew my name. \u201cI know who you are, and I know how you lived like.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re my father\u2019s original son.\u201d At that moment my rage was no longer to be found. My body is filled with shock, and I stood there, thinking about what this child once felt. This was my father\u2019s fault; he\u2019s the one who made this child feel like she belonged in the dumps. Then again, anger flowed through my veins.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you know what dad is?\u201d I waited for an answer. There was no reply. \u201cAn adult.\u201d I answer, still angry.
\n\u201cNo, that\u2019s different. He was an adult that chose to live immaturely.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to listen to your own advice.\u201d She says, this time, her body shape-shifted into a younger phase. \u201cYou\u2019ve got to have high hopes for the perfect man, kid.\u201d<\/p>\n

I tear up a little at the memory. \u201cI was bluffing at that time.\u201d I reveal, and she only just laughs. \u201cNo, you were lying to yourself, because a perfect man doesn\u2019t exist.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEveryone has their own faults, even the people who seem perfect. You\u2019re angry at dad because he wasn\u2019t perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughs once more. \u201cWell, let me tell you this: He chose to not strive for perfection. Like what you said, you need to have high hopes.\u201d<\/p>\n

High hopes, huh?<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you have high hopes for yourself, and always try hard, you can grow up.\u201d
\nI never knew the words of a 5 year old dead child would make me feel motivated. \u201cPlease make the future a better place.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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And then her white figure was gone.<\/p>\n

…
\nI woke up, thinking about that dream. I had to grow up, and I had to live for myself.<\/p>\n

When I visited the coffin of my mother, I whispered to her, \u201cMother, I love you.\u201d
\n\u201cI promise I\u2019ll grow up into a better person.\u201d
\nAnd so I lived, having high hopes for a better future, and to finally be content with myself.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Being Content was the joyful feeling of being satisfied. I remember the distant sea greeting me with a warm smile. My thoughts ran across my mind as I observed the endless blue. Curiosity got ahead of me, and I found myself running towards the seashore. Worried about what mother would say if I wet my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6108,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[93],"tags":[81,78,75,76,82,65,83,63,98,102,91,96,89],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6078"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6078"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6078\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6120,"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6078\/revisions\/6120"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6078"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6078"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catherinekhoo.sg\/philippines\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6078"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}